I had made it so dang complicated for myself to live in my body. I thought the only way I could accept my body was if I treated it like a project: follow the RIGHT food recommendations and nothing more, adhere to the RIGHT fitness routine with regiment like focus, sing all the RIGHT body positive mantras at the top of my lungs. 

Would you be surprised if I told you none of that worked! That was everything BUT accepting my body.

Of course it didn’t work because I had shame about the body I was in…then I had shame for not doing the things I “knew” were supposed to fix me. Bah! I finally had ENOUGH. 

I couldn’t go on anymore with the perfectly veiled excuses for not going swimming with the kids, staying out of spontaneous pics (you know the ones you can’t plan for to the last detail to make sure you’ll look as best as you can even though you still think that’s not good enough), or saying no to outings and opportunities because this silly body just didn’t look the way I wanted it to, didn’t  move the way I wanted it to anymore. 

And so I began the work of accepting my body. This body. The one I’m already in. Then just like magic, I started to get glimpses of enjoying being in my body of feeling ALIVE.

Now, I’m swimming with the kids on the beach wearing whatever the F I want, I’m IN the photos and I say YES to every single event and opportunity that looks like fun.