Be the Trusted Algorithm You Crave

decisions enneagram one goals inner critic perfectionist podcast stress Apr 20, 2022
The Enneagram One Project

Be the Trusted Algorithm You Crave

 

Have you ever caught yourself thinking:

 

Dang, I wish there was this algorithm that would just tell me what my best choice is with this!

 

I certainly have and that desire was strong.

 

What I wanted most of all was this algorithm where I would enter my values and rank them in terms of importance and throw in a few if this then that codes in there for good measure.

 

Have you ever thought about why we want this algorithm?

 

The 3 reasons I hear the most:

 

  • I would be certain that my decisions were in accordance with my highest beliefs
  • It would also justify that my choices were the best ones to make at the time
  • It would lessen the impact of my inner critic when I no longer liked the decision I made in the past.

 

What if all of this is possible without the algorithm? What if you can be that algorithm for yourself? 

 

Google says that we make 35 000 decisions each day. Let that sink in.

 

That’s 35 000 opportunities to think crappy thoughts about your internal algorithm or really useful ones.

 

What do you want to use those opportunities for? 

 

I used them as a training ground to making decisions I love to get to my results faster AND reduce my overall stress.

 

Listen to the full episode HERE.

 

How can you start this journey right now? You pick a project, any project and you use it to make decisions, take action, get an outcome from the action and practice seeing those results in ways that support you.

 

If you don’t know how to pick your perfect project, I’ve got you. 

 

Sign up to receive the Pick Your Perfect Project mini series HERE. 

 

Short videos, short exercises. You’ll know exactly what your next goal will be. Don’t sit on the fence on this one, the sooner you begin, the sooner you will see results for yourself.

 

This is an excellent first step for us perfectionists, the mini series will help you to make your first of many decisions, help you stick to it and support yourself. It’s the best foundation I can offer you.

 

Resources:

 

Pick Your Perfect Project mini series: https://www.dominiquevandal.com/pick-your-perfect-project 

 


Transcript:

 

Welcome every One, you are listening to The Enneagram One Project Podcast, Ep 16 - Be the Trusted Algorithm You Crave

 

I’ve been saying for years that I just wish there was an algorithm that existed to make my decisions for me. The more I talk with other Enneagram Ones and Perfectionists, the more I find this commonality among us. Why is it that we so deeply desire for an algorithm to make decisions for us? Really, have you paused to consider what’s behind the tongue-in-cheek statement? 

 

Join me today as I unearth what’s fueling our desire for this all-knowing algorithm, the solution to ease this longing, if that’s something you want, and only you will know if that’s appropriate for you AND do listen until the very end because I’ll be sharing what I believe to be an excellent first step for each of us Perfectionists.

 

Here’s why I’ve said this before, check in with yourself and see if it resonates. I wanted a flawless algorithm to provide me with the best option based on all of what I thought were conflicting values. I see these values as my moral compass, as the blueprint for making my choices and when I think they are against each other or that I can’t satisfy them all, then I feel stuck and throw my hands up.

 

Having this algorithm where I would enter my values and rank them in terms of importance and throw in a few if this then that codes in there for good measure, then it’s not that I wouldn’t/couldn’t be held responsible for my decisions, it’s that I would be certain that my decisions were in accordance with my highest beliefs. That’s an enneagram One thing if ever I heard of one. 

 

Having this algorithm would also justify as plain as day that my choices were the best ones to make at the time, always. No one could question them and I could be solid in being a good person. It would be this sort of attestation I could hold up whenever I was questioned and didn’t quite know ALL of the reasons behind the choice. I used to have a very hard time explaining my choices when someone presented new evidence I didn’t have or didn’t understand at the time that I made that particular decision. I would make it mean I was flawed or that they were questioning my integrity. Straight to the heart this last one for us Ones.

 

Having this algorithm would ultimately lessen the impact of my inner critic when I no longer liked the decision I made in the past. For whatever reason, maybe I have new information, maybe I have new values, maybe I have tried and it just isn’t for me anymore. My inner critic would have a field day with me in the guise of being honest with myself so that I’d make better decisions in the future. That last part is something I still want, to keep improving my decision making. But the shaming, belittling, and blaming I can do without, it’s never helpful.

 

Wishing for this algorithm to support my decision making is asking something outside of myself to support me instead of asking that of me which is much harder. The algorithm doesn’t have thoughts about itself, we as humans do. Unfortunately, our thoughts are filled with errors, dramatization, self-imposed limitations and keep us thinking the same things about ourselves unless we take notice. That’s what I’m asking of you today.

 

I’ve shared my reasons for wanting this magical algorithm, what’s even more important for you is what those reasons are for you. I want you to take a moment right now and ask yourself why you would find it amazing to have this algorithm? What would it help you to do? What would it help you to not do? How would you see your decisions if you had this algorithm?

 

What if all of this is possible without the algorithm? What if you can be that algorithm for yourself? Hoping for something like this, which at the time of recording, doesn’t exists, keeps you from developing trust and confidence in your decision making and essentially in yourself. A quick search on Google says that we make 35 000 decisions each day. Let that sink in.

 

That’s 35 000 opportunities each day for you to have thoughts about your decision making. That’s 35 000 opportunities each day for you to have your old way of thinking reinforced - I can never get it right, I need more information to make decisions, I don’t know what’s best. All of these judgements leave you feeling hopeless, defeated, discouraged ahead of time and it’s getting in the way of the life you want, the goals you want to reach and keeping you in frustration cycles.

 

On the flip side, it can be 35 000 opportunities each day for you to become someone who makes fierce decisions they love, without an algorithm because all you need is you to love your decisions. 35 000 opportunities to grow in your self reliance, self trust, self confidence and to tame the inner critic. That seems like a much better use of your magnificent One brain. 

 

Let me put this in Enneagram language for just a moment: As an Enneagram One and Perfectionist, I have found that directing my fixation to improve towards how I can support myself even more, especially in the realm of decision making has made the most impact in living in my expansion most of the time and not my contracted state.

 

In other words, I channel my constant desire to improve on things that will make a positive impact, help me be less stress and much more at ease with myself. 

 

Here’s where I’ve noticed the biggest change for me since I started using those opportunities to build my internal algorithm. I make decision faster and that translates into finishing my projects with more efficiency. It’s also in the little every day things. 

 

Check this out, last week, I was late to a dentist appointment, and guess what, my world didn’t crumble.

 

In the past, I’d have second guessed all my decisions of that day leading up to the appointment, how I entered the appointment, how I should have questioned the email reminder that had a different time than what I had put in my calendar, how I should have checked with them sooner to see which of the times was accurate and then the inner critic would have started in on my integrity saying I’m not responsible enough, not adulting as I should be, that I’m making a problem for this other person. 

 

This time, I noticed that all the BS thoughts just weren’t there. I only realized after but poof, non existent, it’s no longer where my brain goes. Instead I immediately thought of how I can get there quickly and safely, being totally ok with having a shorter appointment if needed and I just went to my appointment. It wasn’t a big deal, I didn’t get in a cycle of frustration, I had my back, it was easy.

 

I made this my reality by using every project, every goal, as a training ground to be that algorithm for myself. Imagine being your own algorithm, you’d be so solid in your decision making that even when you have new information, you don’t beat yourself up for not knowing, that even when your values change you don’t make it mean you were an awful person in the past and that even when you simply change your mind you can be satisfied with yourself and truly believe you are this much closer to finding out what works FOR YOU.

 

How can you start this journey right now? You pick a project, any project and you use it to make decisions, take action, get an outcome from the action and practice seeing those results in ways that support you. Each decision will be better than the last, each decision will be more value based than the last and each decision will bring you closer to your goal than the last. Each decision reducing your need and desire for outsource, for algorithms. 

 

What will that project be for you? Will you want to put out a blog or podcast, start a business, clean out your closet, learn to cook, become an instructor, do something unplanned every day, homeschool, do a fundraiser, loose weight, put on weight, post on social media daily, have a better relationship with someone, with yourself? Any project is an amazing one to start just pick one and go. Use it FOR YOU.

 

If you don’t know how to pick your perfect project, I’ve got you. Go to my website and sign up to receive the Pick Your Perfect Project mini series. Short videos, short exercises. You’ll know exactly what your next goal will be. Don’t sit on the fence on this one, the sooner you begin, the sooner you will see results for yourself. Go to dominiquevandal.com and sign up now.

 

This is an excellent first step for us perfectionists, the mini series will help you to make your first of many decisions, help you stick to it and support yourself. It’s the best foundation I can offer you. 

 

Let me know what projects you choose, I want to know what you do and what your journey is like.

 

Until next time, love to each and every One!

 

Thank you so much for listening to The Enneagram One Project podcast, your go-to podcast for all things One.

 

If you’re wanting to integrate what you’re learning here and be supported by your very own personal Enneagram One life coach then I invite you to head over to my website dominiquevandal.com look at the top of the page for the work with me tab. Let’s make your Oneness your greatest gift! Can’t wait to meet you!

Join The Enneagram One Project mailing list to receive the latest news and updates.

I hate SPAM and I value your rights. I will never sell your information, for any reason.