Helping One in Times of Unrest

I am a 1w9, the idealist, a blend of reformer and peacemaker. You might be a 1 with a 2 wing, the advocate, a blend of reformer and the helper. We are Ones, we share a desire to improve the world so that it matches the internal goodness that is within each of us. The reality is that it often does not. That is terribly obvious at this time. 

What we are witnessing is shaking me to my core even when I am safe where I am. I imagine it might be the same for many of you.

We are unstoppable when we use our Oneness and it’s important we know how to do that in the throes of a crisis. With that said here are the things I will be doing so that I can be intentional, things that you can do as well.

I will do regular body check-ins, I will mind my mind, I will apply equal airtime to what I consume and I will look for the helpers.

Body check-ins

These are super important because in times of unrest, we are so much more likely to get into our default modes. That may look like overworking, zoning out on our electronics, going about our days spinning or overthinking. The body check-in is going to be your first indicator of what your lived experience is.

When we are numbing out in some way, we are stuffing down or avoiding the emotions, creating tension within the body. That’s when we Ones are in our stress point.

The upside to being aware of your internal experience in real time is you can do maintenance as the day goes on, reducing the possibility of compounding tension.

I’m deciding to do several check-ins per day because I feel that is the support that I need for now. The check-in itself does not have to be very long. Just pause and check-in. Is there tension of any kind, if yes, attend to it by witnessing it. I personally try different things so I might breathe into the tension deliberately until it dissipates, I might ask my body what it is trying to tell me and address the fear or tension in some way or I might ask my body to guide me in liberating this tension through breath, movement or sound.

Mind your mind

The second way I will be intentional is by minding my mind.

What I do want to do is be aware of my thinking and understand that my thinking is what is causing my suffering and that I can choose to keep thinking it if I want to but in full ownership.  There are plenty of things that happen in the world that I want to experience grief and sadness about. What I want you to notice here is that I am owning that in this instance, I choose grief and so I’m not disempowered.

What I am proposing is that you can be disempowered just by the way you’re thinking about it or you can be empowered. You decide.

You will know by how you feel, by how you act and even by the outcomes in your life if how you are thinking is useful to you or not, if it’s empowering or not.

For a more detailed explanation and more tips, listen to full episode HERE

Resources:

The Enneagram One Project Facebook Group: HERE 

The Enneagram One Project episode 4. Enneagram Type Ones and Stress: HERE

Plum Village App: HERE

Brooke Castillo, The Life Coach School Podcast: HERE

Transcript:

Welcome every One, you are listening to The Enneagram One Project Podcast, episode 9 - Helping Ones in Times of Unrest

First, let me say that I record these podcast episodes a little bit in advance and ask for your understanding when some of the content and data shared may no longer be accurate by the time the episode is released. The global situation has changed so very much in the last week and at such a fast pace. There is unrest right now in the world. It is not business as usual.

You are probably going to hear a lot more of my own Oneness in this episode, I am a 1w9, the idealist, a blend of reformer and peacemaker. You might be a 1 with a 2 wing, the advocate, a blend of reformer and the helper. We are Ones, we share a desire to improve the world so that it matches the internal goodness that is within each of us. The reality is that it often does not. That is terribly obvious at this time. 

You might also not be an Enneagram type One and listening in because what I share helps you and you are so very welcomed as well and this episode will be no exception, I’m sure.

What we are witnessing is shaking me to my core even when I am safe where I am. I imagine it might be the same for many of you.

That is why I am devoted to helping Ones in this time of unrest on this episode today. If you are not a One, I invite you to consider how the concepts and tools could be useful for you as well.

We are unstoppable when we use our Oneness and it’s important we know how to do that in the throes of a crisis. With that said here are the things I will be doing so that I can be intentional, things that you can do as well. 

I will do regular body check-ins, I will mind my mind, I will apply equal airtime to what I consume and I will look for the helpers.

Body check-ins

Let’s start with body check-ins. These are super important because in times of unrest, we are so much more likely to get into our default modes. That may look like overworking, zoning out on our electronics, going about our days spinning or overthinking. The body check-in is going to be your first indicator of what your lived experience is. 

When we are numbing out in some way, we are stuffing down or avoiding the emotions, creating tension within the body. That’s when we Ones are in our stress point. You can listen to episode 4, Enneagram Type Ones and Stress if you want to dive into how this happens.

The upside to being aware of your internal experience in real time is you can do maintenance as the day goes on, reducing the possibility of compounding tension.

I am going to do this very formally for a while, I don’t know for how long but I will be proactive by setting a timer on my phone as a cue to breathe and check for any internal tightness, tension or anything else my body would have me know.

I really like to use the sound of Tibetan bells to do this because I allow my brain to follow the vibration of the sound gently taking me out of the headspace and into the body. 

If you’re curious and don’t have bells, the Plum Village app has a beautiful bell sound. I’ll put the link in the show notes.

You can decide to do 1 body check-in at a set time. I’m deciding to do several check-ins per day because I feel that is the support that I need for now. The check-in itself does not have to be very long. Just pause and check-in. Is there tension of any kind, if yes, attend to it by witnessing it. I personally try different things so I might breathe into the tension deliberately until it dissipates, I might ask my body what it is trying to tell me and address the fear or tension in some way or I might ask my body to guide me in liberating this tension through breath, movement or sound.

These are all techniques I show my clients to use in my coaching program and in the Facebook group for this podcast. In fact, if you are listening to this podcast the day it’s released then know that the Facebook group just opened and that we are spending this entire week learning how to process our emotions by using many of these tools. You are welcomed to join us at any time. You can search for The Enneagram One Project group in Facebook or check for the link in the show notes.

Body check-ins are crucial because we are often disconnected from our bodies and entirely in the headspace where we get very little relief of the tension we create from the mind. This creates a cycle of suffering where the thoughts keep fueling the feeling on repeat with no way to interrupt the pattern. 

Mind your mind

The second way I will be intentional is by minding my mind. Here’s what I mean by that. I don’t want you to try to believe rainbows and daisies, and patch up uncomfortable feelings with better feeling thoughts. I mean you can if you want to but here’s why I think it’s not a great option. For me, when I think of atrocities or a global crisis, I don’t ever want to gaslight myself by thinking better thoughts about those things because then, nothing changes and I’ve committed a transgression against myself, diminishing my self concept and trust. No one wins, no one is helped.

What I do want to do is be aware of my thinking and understand that my thinking is what is causing my suffering and that I can choose to keep thinking it if I want to but in full ownership.  There are plenty of things that happen in the world that I want to experience grief and sadness about. What I want you to notice here is that I am owning that in this instance, I choose grief and so I’m not disempowered.

The other part is noticing that some thoughts just don’t drive the actions I want to take to make the world better and so while I can keep thinking them, I’ll have to consider different thoughts if I want to create different outcomes. Let me give you a few examples here.

Let’s say there’s a type of situation that you could never see yourself being neutral, about. I’ll share mine with you. When I think of abuse of any kind, I don’t ever want to see that as neutral. Yes, it exists in the world, it will probably always exist. There are a million thoughts someone could have about abuse so let me take two examples at two extremes to illustrate my point.

I could think that abuse is a normal thing that happens to humans in our world because on some level, that’s true and there’s nothing I can do about it, that leaves me feeling powerless. When I feel powerless, I numb out, zone out and don’t do much to advocate or change policies or even volunteer where I could and so I make zero changes to the abuse in the world. 

The opposite of that, and again, there are millions of other options, but the opposite of that might be thinking that I can do something today to help someone who is experiencing abuse. Now I feel empowered, ready, willing, etc, that drives me to call up a local shelter, that drives me to advocate for new policies, etc. and I make a difference. 

Do you see how, yes, both statements are true but that they lead to very different outcomes? I am not saying abuse isn’t terrible, I am keeping that belief but I am also believing, on purpose, that I can have a hand in being helpful. You can hold many beliefs at the same time. One does not dismiss the other.

What I am proposing is that you can be disempowered just by the way you’re thinking about it or you can be empowered. You decide.

You will know by how you feel, by how you act and even by the outcomes in your life if how you are thinking is useful to you or not, if it’s empowering or not. 

As you do your body check-ins and mind your mind, I’d like you to consider the two following ideas that I came about online this past week; equal airtime and to look for the helpers.

Equal airtime

I first heard about the idea of Equal Air Time in 2020 when one of my mentors Brooke Castillo did a special series on her podcast, The Life Coach School Podcast. I can’t seem to find the exact episode or the exact terminology Brooke used unfortunately but you can look it up, I’m sure.

The premise is that the brain is already on the look out for what could be dangerous to your survival. It does this 100% of the time to keep you alive. You have already probably heard about how it takes 5 positive comments to overcome 1 negative one because the latter weighs more heavily in importance in the brain. Overall, that amazing brain has a negativity bias. 

If on top of your brain’s natural tendency, you add watching the news to see what is actually going on in Ukraine right now and you watch new story after news story, you are feeding your brain with even more heaviness and negativity. What do you imagine will be your emotional state, your mood, when you’re glued to Facebook, the news or other media? 

If I tap into how I am feeling right now after reading some news articles for 10 minutes, I feel discouraged, disgusted, and disconnected. These are not the emotions I want to be experiencing all day. I mean, yes, I can, but I don’t want to. 

One of the easiest ways to counterbalance this is to make sure that for every article I read about what’s going on right now in Ukraine, I read an article about where I can make a difference. For every minute spent scrolling news outlets, I listen to a podcast that I know leaves me feeling a more open, expansive emotion. 

Though the idea is equal airtime, that’s a minimum, you may even want to double or triple your intake of the better feelings things. 

I mentioned consuming behaviors like listening to a podcast, just make sure you are actively consuming and not zoning out, you will know by how connected you feel to your body and the internal felt senses. I invite you to be creative at this time as well and not only consume what others are putting out there. 

Full transparency, getting this podcast ready for you is saving my sanity right now. It’s my very tiny way of making a difference and I feel so much more connected and in my strength than when I watch the news.

Look for the helpers

Lastly, I saw a quote from Mr Rogers that someone else posted on instagram. The quote is “When I was a boy and I would see scary things on the news, my mother would say to me, ‘look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’” 

This dear One will direct your brain, put your brain on a mission. You won’t be mindlessly consuming the news, you will have a goal. You will still be caught up with the most recent news but you will also be left with a little bit of…dare I say hope in humanity.

Ones, we are needed right now. Our Oneness is a blessing in this world and we can’t do it if we don’t take care of ourselves first. 

You can start with intentional body check-ins, minding your mind, giving equal air time to what you consume, even add creativity and by looking for the helpers.

I repeat, it is not business as usual. 

I make podcast episodes to uplift you, support you and help you make your Oneness your superpower. Know that it is an act of self care for me as well and I so appreciate that you are listening. I hope that you are left feeling seen, cared for and nourished after each episode.

Until next time, love to each and every One!

Thank you so much for listening to The Enneagram One Project podcast, your go-to podcast for all things One.

If you’re wanting to integrate what you’re learning here and be supported by your very own personal Enneagram One life coach then I invite you to head over to my website dominiquevandal.com look at the top of the page for the work with me tab. Let’s make your Oneness your greatest gift! Can’t wait to meet you!