How to Answer "Is This For Me"Sep 22, 2022
Tapping into the body to be SELF guided
If I could gift you but one gift, it would be the skill of tapping inwards to really know if something, anything is for you.
Tapping inwards is instrumental for anyone looking to create a purposeful life, and that is because it brings you closer to YOUR own truth, what’s good for you. That is REAL self-empowerment!
What is real self empowerment?
In a nutshell real self empowerment, is being more YOU with less and less outside conditioning that has programmed itself in your mind without your explicit consent.
It’s about uncovering your authentic self, celebrating it, supporting it, nourishing it and receiving its messages. Being SELF guided is key.
How do you become SELF guided?
Tap into SELF. It’s really about receiving the messages from within and to do that I’ve relied on the practices I’ve learned in feminine embodiment.
The way that I’ve applied the skill in my life has been to allow my mind to present questions and to rely on the support of the other bodies namely the energetic body, the emotional body, the physical body and the mental body to help guide me.
That is how I am SELF guided.
To help you start on your journey to becoming SELF guided, I’ve put together the greatest guide for you. This guide is designed to help you tap into YOUR body’s wisdom when deciding on your next coach, course or program. You can grab it HERE.
What to look for when tapping into body wisdom for the first time
Notice any small changes in and around your body
Did your heartbeat change in any way?
Did your posture shift at all?
Did your breathing quicken or slow?
These are all messages from your physical body.
There are more signals in the other aspects of SELF
Other ways your body speaks to you can be through your emotions, your energy and your mind too.
Pay attention to shifts in these areas as well.
It's normal to hear your mind over the other signals
We spend most of our time listening to what it has to say over the other subtler messages.
It won't always be this way. It just takes a little more effort. It's so worth it!
For more deets, listen to this SELF Guided podcast episode HERE.
Hello everyone and welcome to the very first season and the very first episode of SELF guided. Where we will be ending all indecision and confusion by checking in with the body to answer the big question “Is This for ME?”.
Before we go on with today’s episode, you may have noticed our beloved podcast has a new name. While the Enneagram One Project was loads of fun and insights, it has come to a close. That said, if you’re an enneagram one, I hope you’ll stick around at least for this episode because this episode is full of really useful tips on how to stop that endless spinning you might find yourself in when trying to make a decision which I know that I would have benefitted from immensely as a One myself.
If I could gift you but one gift, it would be the skill of tapping inwards to really know if something, anything is for you. And so we begin this new podcast with what’s been my greatest gift to myself that I now share with you.
There’s a reason why the ability of tapping inwards is instrumental for anyone looking to create a purposeful life and that is because it brings you closer to YOUR own truth, what’s good for you.
What I see happening more and more is a harmful paradigm in the self development world and it says “here’s what an optimized life/body/mindset looks like, conform to it to access what you’ve been missing or fix your flaws and if you can’t adopt this way of being then there’s something wrong with you and/or you are in your own way”.
Contrary to what you’re being promised, you don’t become more self empowered within this paradigm, but instead become practiced at calibrating yourself to others.
I saw this in myself, I truly believed they knew something I didn’t know, that they had answers for me that would make me feel like I knew what the heck I was doing. I was all in on THEIR version of a best life, THEIR idea of how I needed to live my life to optimize it.
Doing it more their way, being more them and a lot less YOU.
In itself, not a problem, if you desire to be led. It becomes concerning when what you desire is real self empowerment.
This was not self-empowerment for me, what it did was to keep me in a cycle where I’d continuously find something I could improve in myself, forcing myself into molds that were not my own and wondering what in the world was wrong with me. You can see how that just perpetuates the cycle and on for another ride I’d go.
I am not anti self-development, I am however, over the addiction of finding a supposed flaw that needs fixing and that so and so has the answer for me.
Yes, this podcast has tips and techniques and conversations that are deeply rooted in self-development but there’s a very important distinction in my approach. What I share with you is so that you may experience REAL self-empowerment. The kind where you become more of YOU, it’s all already there, inside of you, I’m just presenting you with the tools I have found helpful in remembering my own radiance. It’s about your own self reflection and self awareness.
You see, I stand for REAL self-empowerment, the kind that gets to the root of you and challenges social norms we accept over the truth of who we are in that moment.
What is real self empowerment?
Well each SELF would have to answer that for themselves. So before I offer my view, pause and consider what you think it is.
My vision of REAL self-empowerment for myself and what I bring to the table is where we are done forcing ourselves to fit a mold b/c we are self-assured, we are done seeking to "fix" ourselves b/c e are self-honoring, we are done using tools against ourselves b/c we are self-guided and we are done aligning to the gurus b/c we are self-calibrated.
In a nutshell real self empowerment, is being more YOU with less and less outside conditioning that has programmed itself in your mind without your explicit consent. It’s about uncovering your authentic self, celebrating it, supporting it, nourishing it and receiving its messages.
Otherwise, what’s being sold as self development, self-help and self empowerment is often just different conditioning and programming. My hope for each of you, from this moment on, is that you are aware of this and make decisions according to what you desire. You may still want what you’ve been sold as self development and that’s OK too.
The question is where do you turn when you do want something different or when you want to see if you even want something different?
When I realized I wanted something different, I kind of got stuck because I had no idea where to begin. If you’ve listened to the intro to this episode, then you know that I am not only certified as a mindset life coach but also, more recently, as a feminine embodiment coach. Through feminine embodiment, I was able to tap into SELF with more ease and found the approach to be an excellent alternative to access what lies beyond conditioning as well as mend the shortcomings of other forms of self coaching.
It’s been my experience that even though I know in my deepest of self that there’s nothing to fix that I am perfectly fine, I still have a desire to explore what else is, or could be available to me and that as a self-proclaimed self development geek, that usually comes in the form of courses coaches and programs.
Does that mean I don’t invest in self-development offers anymore, nope! I still love this stuff. I am however, much more discerning, the difference is that I’m on to myself. I know that most of the time, the desire to purchase a course is because of some deep seeded belief that I’m flawed and will be better after. I don’t think any one of us can escape the media and the constant messages being thrown at us so that we find ourselves needed and searching for a quick fix outside of ourselves.
So I know this and yet I feel this urge to improve or fix and these courses, programs and coaches have all the pretty packaging and I feel pulled to buy. There is absolutely no problem with me having this response AND I still would prefer to choose my next purchase based on a different mechanism altogether. This mechanism would be one where I really do check in with myself before I press buy and I’ve already hinted at it earlier; I tap into SELF.
So what is SELF?
As I answer this, know that I know I didn’t come up with this notion myself but I don’t know from which sources I pulled it all together in this specific way. At this point, it is likely to be a combination of sources so please bear with me because I use the concept of SELF a lot and I want you to know what I mean when I say it.
SELF is the whole of you, it is made of your physical body, your emotional body, your mental body and your energetic body. More than that, SELF is what notices the felt sensation of it all.
Now this of course reminds me of the concept of the watcher from Eckhart Tolle and of course, the idea of soul or essence. That is probably the mixture that created this in my mind along with the teachings of feminine embodiment, in any case, I certainly do not claim intellectual property for this.
Is This for Me?
And so, when I want to answer the question “Is This for Me?”, I say tap into SELF. It’s really about receiving the messages from within and to do that I’ve relied on the practices I’ve learned in feminine embodiment. The way that I’ve applied the skill in my life has been to allow my mind to present questions and to rely on the support of the other bodies namely the energetic body, the emotional body, the physical body and the mental body to help guide me. That is how I am SELF guided.
In fact, I would scream it from the rooftops if I could just so everyone could have the skill if they wanted it. That is self empowerment.
A few disclaimers before we continue. First, if you hold trauma in your body or do not feel safe in your body, I can’t, in good conscience, invite you to do this practice without some sort of self agreement to honour your edges and not go beyond them or perhaps reach out for names of trauma-based embodiment coaches and practitioners. Second, at the beginning, it’s wise to do an embodiment practice in a formal way, dedicated time and space, and certainly not while driving, you want to be able to focus inwards.
I’m so excited to share the steps with you now so you can do this later when it is convenient for you to do so. You can totally write this all down or you can go to my website where you will find a guided audio and quick reference guide that you can download for free.
There are really 3 steps that I use over and over again to hear the messages that SELF is communicating and it’s really quite simple.
First, I regulate my nervous system. I invite you to either listen to the guided audio to see how I do it and I also invite you to find what works for you. It may look like meditating and it may look like dancing, there is no better way than another. I know I’m in a good place to check-in when I am calm and my mind isn’t spinning or preoccupied. That’s me and my body, consider what it could be for you.
Second, bring up to mind that course, program or coach you want to invest in. Sort of hold it in your mind’s eye and as you do it, notice any of the subtle changes in one of the four bodies (emotional, physical, energetic and mental).
Let me guide you through one now just to give you an example. If I were to be tapping into the physical body at first, I’d bring myself to a calm energy, bring up the course I’m considering in my mind’s eye and then pay attention to any subtle shift in my body like my breath, my posture, any new tension. I’d take note and then finally as the third step, I’d ask myself “what is my physical body saying to me through these felt sensations?”
That’s it! While you don’t have to go through each of the types of felt sensations, I do invite you to play with them and see what you are able to notice when you pay attention to the subtle changes when you think of the course, program or coach.
I can share how SELF communicates via my body but it really is such an individual and unique experience that it’s something you won’t truly know until you try it. Here are some of the small changes I look for when I do this practice. Any physical change such as posture and held tension, any emotional change such as an urgency or opening up, any mental image or word pop up and lastly any energetic shift such as heaviness.
You will find these and more examples in the guides! The best part is, you can just put on the audio and let me do the heavy lifting while you allow your body to communicate with you. You will find the guides over at dominiquevandal.com/links, that’s d-o-m-i-n-i-q-u-e-v-a-n-d-a-l.com/links, l-i-n-k-s and it’s titled “Is This For Me Guides”. If you found this helpful and know others who would appreciate this podcast or the Guides, make sure to let them know about it!
Until next time love to each and everyone!
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