Reaching Your Goals Just Got Better

breaking the rules embodiment goals inner critic perfectionist Apr 06, 2022
The Enneagram One Project

I want you to think of that one goal or project you have for yourself that you keep putting to the side or the one you’ve not been doing and no one really knows about it. 

 

What is that for you? Is it putting out a podcast just because you wish it existed for yourself and others like you, is it being able to call for takeout, organizing your office once and for all, writing a book, learning to dance, going to that karate class, running your first marathon. Whatever it is. Why haven’t you done it? What’s in the way? 

 

Those just for me goals where no one else “suffers” whether I do it or not are always so easy to put to the side. Each time I put it in the “do it later pile”, I was basically telling myself that I’m not as important as those other things I’m reaching for. Those sometimes small and sometimes big desires I had for myself, just not worth. In others words, parts of me are not worth it.

 

That ended when I embarked on my master coach training. I decided very purposefully that I would extend the same enthusiasm, love and grace to myself that I so easily do for my clients. Life changing dear Ones, life changing. I created this podcast because I knew I wanted to put all my learnings and skills together, it had been in the back of my mind as one of those goals I didn’t tell anyone about.

 

You see, I had now tasted that freedom from my spinning mind and knew what it really felt like to be at peace during my embodiment practice and so that set the stage for how I would approach this podcast. For sure, imperfection had to be part of the goal or else I knew I would never publish an episode. I used embodiment practices along side the mindset training I already had to anchor myself as I wrote, recorded, edited and promoted the podcast. Every step of the way, I go back to insourcing as opposed to outsourcing.

 

This may not seem like a big deal but it is. Listen to the full episode HERE.

 

Resources:

 

Work with me: https://www.dominiquevandal.com/work-with-me 

The Enneagram One Project Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theenneagramoneproject 

 


Transcript: 

 

Welcome every One, you are listening to The Enneagram One Project Podcast, Ep 14 - Reaching Your Goals Just Got Better

 

I have a short but powerful episode for you all today that ends with what I think is the best news ever so do listen until the very end!

 

I didn’t realize it last week when I recorded episode 13, Make imperfect your next goal, that I would be flooded with insight and inspiration but I was! 

 

You see, last week was also the ending of my master coach training and so I used that time to reflect on all I had learned, accomplished, you know all the things and it became so darn obvious.

 

My journey in coaching, from day one, has been to lead myself with enthusiasm, love and grace. I’m a type 1, I pick my goals carefully, they are usually goals I know I have full control over and that I will for sure meet. Then because they usually have an external measure, it’s a very high incentive for me and I always get it done. That’s not how it goes in master coach training, you pick something that is beyond your current self concept. I went all in because well a) good student over here and b) I had noticed that the goals that were just for me, that no one knew about, that I had an easy out, those didn’t get done.

 

So I want you to think of that one goal or project you have for yourself that you keep putting to the side or the one you’ve not been doing and no one really knows about it. 

 

What is that for you? Is it putting out a podcast just because you wish it existed for yourself and others like you, is it being able to call for takeout, organizing your office once and for all, writing a book, learning to dance, going to that karate class, running your first marathon. Whatever it is. Why haven’t you done it? What’s in the way? 

 

Those just for me goals where no one else “suffers” whether I do it or not are always so easy to put to the side. Each time I put it in the “do it later pile”, I was basically telling myself that I’m not as important as those other things I’m reaching for. Those sometimes small and sometimes big desires I had for myself, just not worth. In others words, parts of me are not worth it.

 

That ended when I embarked on my master coach training. I decided very purposefully that I would extend the same enthusiasm, love and grace to myself that I so easily do for my clients. Life changing dear Ones, life changing. I created this podcast because I knew I wanted to put all my learnings and skills together, it had been in the back of my mind as one of those goals I didn’t tell anyone about.

 

You see, I had now tasted that freedom from my spinning mind and knew what it really felt like to be at peace during my embodiment practice and so that set the stage for how I would approach this podcast. For sure, imperfection had to be part of the goal or else I knew I would never publish an episode. I used embodiment practices along side the mindset training I already had to anchor myself as I wrote, recorded, edited and promoted the podcast. Every step of the way, I go back to insourcing as opposed to outsourcing.

 

This may not seem like a big deal but it is.

 

When I started in 2018, I couldn’t call out for takeout because I was so scared I’d make a mistake, calling a governmental office was out of the question. This may seem absolutely absurd but my mind was so focused on doing it right and not creating a problem for someone else that I would freeze and not be able to call for pizza. The idea of a mistake I might make or questions I might ask being a problem for the person taking the order was not a chance I was willing to take.

 

Then I used the tools I was learning and I started stepping into the discomfort. Not too much at a time but I did it. The reason that was pushing me was sufficiently important to me that it was more uncomfortable to not do the thing. For me, that reason is to help others and whenever I think of the people who might not be helped, seen, and heard because I couldn’t get passed my discomfort was far more painful.

 

As I share with you what my journey looked like, I’d love for you to bring up to mind that project you thought about before. Allow my example to spark some inspiration for what your steps could be.

 

In 2018, I couldn’t call for takeout but I signed up for my first life coaching training. At the end of it, I was hired as a contractor for the school and started coaching in the membership. I went from freezing to order pizza to coaching one person after another every 20 minutes on ANYTHING. There was no way I could prepare for the session, no perfect script to follow. I had the tools, the skill and trust that whatever happened in a session was what the client needed, that if I was their coach for that session, that I was best suited for the job.

 

Then I interned to become a teacher at my coaching school. I went from not being able to call for pizza and speak to 1 human without a script, to coaching a new person every 20 minutes without a script and now I was about to teach in front of 10 aspiring coaches. I wanted to run and hide but I did it. Not only did I do it, but I also chose to love myself and embody the qualities that makes me a great coach and teacher instead of always striving for something I wasn’t yet. That was my next big lesson. It really already is within me. Just like it’s already within yourself to achieve that goal or project you have in mind.

 

I’ll spare you all the details but I increased my capacity to be seen one step at a time and my capacity to make “errors” in front of others. I even do webinars where I have no idea how many people will show up and I’m really quite good at it. There’s this podcast that you’re listening to and I post on social media. All of these things were unimaginable 4 years ago, scary as heck 2 year ago and extremely uncomfortable until I learned a few things in the last year that allowed for leaps and bounds in what I’m willing to go for and put out there.

 

Here’s what I learned:

 

I have the best resource within myself that supports me,

I already embody what is necessary to make my desires a reality but my brain tries to keep me safe by telling me I don’t and that’s not a problem either,

I have the survival programming to look to perfect and improve, I can totally work with that

I build self trust not by forcing myself to do things but by leading myself with enthusiasm and looking within

I can fully enjoy my life NOW as I go after my projects and goals

 

In other words, you can 100% bring your project, goals and dreams to be by treating yourself with love, compassion and grace. Yes, I made the podcast and reached many other goals in the last 4 years and the BEST by-product, the thing I had no idea I was becoming, was someone who could be her own cheerleader, ally and comfort.

 

My entire self concept changed from being the perfectionist who couldn’t put her goals first for fear of being a problem for someone else to being a perfectionist who fully expresses herself through her goals and uses her projects as a vehicle to be more of herself. It’s magic.

 

I have put together the best program to help you use projects you have, whatever they may be, to increase your capacity to be more authentically you and fully expressed. 

 

Your desires, however big or small, you have them for a reason. They are here to help you be more of yourself and it’s so hard to do that when we are held down by rules we think we need to follow, and inner critics that can be relentless and mean. 

 

I think it’s time for you to finally be yourself, relax into who you are and tap into that inner peace that’s already within you. My invitation to you is to join my coaching program now. 

 

Reaching your next goal does not have to be hard and you can stop being wicked to yourself, yes, even as a perfectionist. 

 

Join me, we’ll take your next project and use it to help bring out your inner leader and ally so you can go after every project afterwards with more ease and enjoyment.

 

Thank you so much for listening to The Enneagram One Project podcast, your go-to podcast for all things One.

 

If you’re wanting to integrate what you’re learning here and be supported by your very own personal Enneagram One life coach then I invite you to head over to my website dominiquevandal.com look at the top of the page for the work with me tab. Let’s make your Oneness your greatest gift! Can’t wait to meet you!

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